"I love you anyway"

"I hate you!" The dreaded phrase no parent wants to hear from their child, but one that every parent can expect at some point. Or some variation thereof. For me, it's been, "I don't love you anymore."

Bethany was the first to come up with this one. She started off with the guilt-inducing "You just broke a piece of my heart." That one really affected me the first time I heard it. By the fifteenth, not so much. Then she started in with the I-don't-love-you-anymores, mostly when she was mad that I wouldn't give her something she wanted, or I wouldn't let her do something she wanted to do. It never really affected me all that much. I mean, I have friends who take it really personally when their kids say horrible things like that to them. Maybe it's just because she's only seven, and I know she doesn't really mean it, but it doesn't really crush me. That being said, I didn't really like her saying it, either.

For the first several times, I just ignored it. I figured if I didn't respond, she'd stop saying it. That didn't really seem to make a difference. Then one day, I had an idea. After she told me she didn't love me, I just said, "Well, I love you anyway. Even when you're mad and screaming at me." That's all. No real lecture or anything. It only took about three times, and she stopped saying that to me at all. It was pretty amazing.

Sean kind of picked up the habit from Bethany, though, but coming from a three-year-old, it's almost funny. Especially when our conversations run like this:

Sean: (angrily/defiantly/whatever)I don't love you anymore.
Me:Well, I love you.
Sean: I don't love you.
Me: I love you, though.
Sean: (contritely) Mommy, I love you.

"I love you anyway." Pretty powerful words.