My preschooler got kicked off the bus?!?

I was having a nice phone conversation with Brenda today, and had just finished telling her how well Bethany was doing with riding the bus, when Nate called on the cell phone. I didn't quite get to the phone in time, but he called right back, which made me think it was important. It kinda was. He'd gotten a phone call saying Bethany was getting kicked off the bus, and that I needed to go get her. My first reaction was, "Say what? Who kicks a five-year-old off a bus?" Nevertheless, it was too true. I called the transportation office, found out where the bus was waiting for me, and went and got Bethany. It turned out that the driver had seen Bethany standing up at the end of the bus at one of the stops. When she asked Bethany to sit down, she wouldn't. So she got up to lead Bethany by the hand to sit down, and that's where Bethany exploded. The driver didn't want to touch her or do anything to her, so I got called instead. Yikes. Fortunately, Nate's mom is visiting with us, so I was able to leave Sean (who was sleeping) and Meagan home and leave quickly to get her. When I got to the bus, I found Bethany still standing at the back, with this funny expression on her face and her hands over her ears. I was kind of annoyed and started to get after her in the car, but then I saw that she was near tears, so I stopped. She kept saying things like, "I'm not going to play anymore" and "I'm not paying attention". It was very sad.

Of course we beat the bus to the school, where the preschool teachers were all lined up, plus the principal, waiting for the bus. Bethany's little tantrum knocked the schedule off for the whole preschool for the day by 15-20 minutes. After she left with her teacher, I went out and talked with the driver and the principal. The driver wanted to have Bethany sit in a seat in the front with a five-point harness--which Bethany would freak over having to use--but I wanted to see if this was a one-time thing or a trend. We agreed to see how she did the rest of the week, and go from there.

I think most of her problem was that she hasn't been getting enough sleep or exercise, so she's been more easily agitated. She threw several fits this morning and this evening before bed. I really want to get her outside, or somewhere where she can run. Maybe I'll make her jump for ten minutes on the trampoline before she can play on the computer. I'm also looking into more gymnastics or even soccer. A few weeks back, she went outside nearly every day for an hour with her grandma and her dogs, and during that time she was so well-behaved and happy. If it weren't so cold and muddy now, I'd have her do it now, too. I just hate trying to figure out what it is my children really need sometimes.

Tomorrow is my ninth wedding anniversary. Bethany is five. In spite of this, as I was talking with the principal today, I had an odd sense that I was just playing dress-up, that it couldn't be true that I was having a parent-principal mini-conference. Even now, hours later, it still doesn't seem real. I feel so inadequate much of the time, like I'm winging it. I hope that feeling will go away with more time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it's here to stay.